I know that God wants more from me. I can sense it. But what?
I pray about it. I pray that He uses me as a vessel for Him. And I feel as though I just don’t have a good grasp on what it is though that He wants of me.
I think I may be getting closer though.
Once again, someone in my church pulled me aside and said they can sense that God wants to do something more in me. This is the second confirmation I’ve had from someone concerning God moving in my life (see past blog). And aside from those two confirmations, my church’s worship leader/pastor’s wife has taken me under her wing and mentors me in the aspect of worship leading. She also has expressed that she knows God wants more for me. So I would say that makes three confirmations. He must really want something from me.
Anyway back to my most recent confirmation. The woman who spoke to me yesterday, her and her husband led our worship team in devotions before service. During her discussion, she spoke on the word threshold. More specifically, how we are at the threshold ready to cross into something bigger and better. But her question for us was how big do we want the opening once we cross. That question really got me thinking. In my mind, I thought of my church as a whole – much like my previous blog entry. Towards the end of the devotion time, the woman prayed over our worship team. But then during the prayer, she prayed specifically for me and what God is doing in and through me. After the group broke down and began to go our separate ways to prepare for the service, I mentioned to this lady how I had just blogged about our church as a whole being on the edge, or the threshold so to say, of something so much bigger than we can even imagine. And all I could say to her was isn’t it strange how God works. Well after church that morning, she came back up to me and said that I need to hold on to these promises and that His movement in my life may not come to fruition anytime soon but to remember that day. Remember His promises for my life.
After all these confirmations and the tug I have felt in my own spirit, it’s like what’s next? Where is He leading me? What is my purpose in His kingdom? I came across a verse recently that has spoke volumes to me; “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace,” Acts 20:24. My life is nothing unless it is used for His purpose. I know He clearly is going to use me in some way. I’ve had it confirmed to me so there’s no doubt. But at what cost? What will I need to do to reach the level on which He wants me? How big am I willing to allow the opening on the other side that threshold to be? I know I will never know unless I jump in, all abandoned to Him and the faith that He will always come through for me.
One thing I am certain of is that I cannot even begin to conceive in my small, finite mind where He could possibly lead me. Curiosity is rearing it’s head but I know that whatever the path for my life may be, it will be okay. This is my race into eternity and He won’t let me lose. And that’s a good position to be in.
The Busy Bird 